Waiting on the Lord

Randy is in his 15th year since showing signs that something was wrong. 

He was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia in 2014. 

I placed him in memory care in 2018. 

He hasn't talked since the pandemic lockdown in 2020.

Thankfully he still walks, but very slowly. 

He's becoming more unsteady lately, requiring a wheelchair at times. 

He eats real well. But needs caregivers to assist him more.

I could never have imagined he would still be with us after 15 years.

As much as I want him to be with Jesus, I panic when there's a sudden decline.

And the harsh reality... I don't know how to move forward without him. 

In my grief and sadness I can't seem to get motivated to do much.

So I wait.

Well, recently I read that "waiting" is an action word.

"Waiting in the context of scripture, particularly when referring to "Waiting on the Lord", is often described as an active and purposeful action, rather then a passive one. It involves more than just sitting idly, it's about actively trusting, seeking God's presence, and remaining engaged in faith while anticipating His will and timing."

God knows the numbers of our days. He knows when Randy's time on earth is done.

And God is definitely not done with Randy. 

There is purpose in his presence at Brookdale.

So, I will be more purposeful, more mindful... while waiting for God to take Randy home. 

Because God's not done with me either. I just need to fully trust Him as He leads me.

Gratefulness is another action word. An act of faith.

Acknowledging God's goodness amidst pain and heartache 

is bringing about a gradual shift in my perspective.

It shifts my sights from my present circumstance to His sovereignty, 

His great love for me.

Thank you God for the transforming, renewing of my mind.

Thank you for Your Word.

Thank you that ~

I am greatly blessed!

I am deeply loved!

I am highly favored by God!

Thank you that Randy still leans in for an eskimo kiss.

That's how I know he knows me... and loves me.