Life's better on a deck

... especially if your life is not going as planned.

So you get in your vehicle and head north. Desperate for clarity. For peace.

You sit. You commune with nature... with friends that understand.

You find nourishment for your soul.

And although nothing has changed, you clearly see your need to depend on God for your security. You see your need to give up the control and put your trust in Him. For His plans. 

I recently found this quote in the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan, that stopped me in my tracks. This is me to a tee. But God saw fit to allow everything to change. Everything. And it has rocked my world. It has revealed things about me that I did not know till my security was taken away... jobs, health insurance, savings, retirement, my health. 

"Lukewarm people do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to.  They don't have to trust God if something unexpected happens- they have their savings account.  They don't need God to help them- they have their retirement plan in place.  They don't genuinely seek out what life God would have them live- they have life figured and mapped out.  They don't depend on God on a daily basis- their refrigerators are full and, for the most part, they are in good health.  The truth is, their lives wouldn't look much different if they suddenly stopped believing in God." 

I'm not handling it well. I have a long ways to go. It's one step forward, two steps backwards. 

But I remain in the race, however painful it may feel at times.

Thank you for remaining a faithful reader... and for your prayers. Means a lot.