dementia: what works for us

My husband was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia in 2014. But my concerns began as far back as 2010. I wrote this list a year ago, just before I placed him in a memory care facility on July 19, 2018... so that I would not forget the details of these past several years.

I keep music playing on his iPod in his bedroom.

I sing songs where he has to finish the last word from each line.

"You are my (husband), my only (husband), you make me (happy) when skies are (gray)
You'll never know (just) how much I love (you), please don't take my husband (away)"

"Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of (rye)
Four a 20 black birds baked in a (pie), etc."

I encourage him to read billboard signs as we drive to and from his adult day care.

We slow dance to worship music so I can feel him holding me close.

I remind him often that he shared the gospel at his concerts, leading many to pray and accept Jesus as their Savior. He will reply "I did that!"

Because he parrots everything I say, I will tell Him that Jesus died for our sins, and we will spend eternity with God. Invariably he will repeat over and over "Jesus died on a cross for our sins!" The Truth of God's Word is so hidden in his heart that it just spills out, even though his brain is dying.

I leave two cinnamon graham cracker squares on the counter every night, so when he gets up he's more apt to go back to his bedroom if he's had a bite to eat.

Duct tape is a lifesaver. Because our van does not have child safety locks at all, and he opens the door while I drive, I duct tape the door handle. Although he now started opening the window, so I will be duct taping that too. (especially at 100 degrees)

He went through a phase where he filled several glasses of water from the frig water dispenser every day. Even though he didn't drink them. So I covered  the entire ice & water dispenser with cardboard & duct tape. Problem solved.

I have had our friend/ locksmith here several times over the past 4 years, installing keyed locks to the laundry room, garage door, my office, my bedroom, front door and security door. I have that key clipped to me at all times because I lock and unlock those doors dozens and dozens of times every day. But Randy's safe, secure and I can sleep at night knowing he can't get out, into the food, the meds, etc.

Here's my handy-dandy retractible key ring that changed my life. I found mine in a pack of 3 at the 99 Cent store. The clip is very strong and stays clipped either to my shirt, pocket or belt loop.