Monday, September 22, 2008
the Larson farm
*** The farm is located between Eau Claire and Black River Falls off of I-94.
This is what draws me back to Wisconsin every single year. My childhood home. It represents security and safety. It's where I was free to explore, pretend, dream, create, question, imagine... and grow in my faith.
Oh how I would spend hours day-dreaming about my life, my future. There was no limit to what God could and would do in and through me. Even as a little girl, I was aware of God's hand on my life. That the plans He had for me were unique to who He created me to be. That I was destined for great things. Yes, I had quite the vivid imagination.
And you know what? God did not disappoint. I can look back now and see how He showed His unconditional love. How He became real and trustworthy and steadfast throughout my journey. How He lead this little farm girl to the big city. How He gave me countless opportunities to use my gifts and talents to sing and act for Him. How He gave me a wonderful husband and three terrific kids. How He has remained by my side through every twist and turn. How He has never failed to meet my every need. And how He continues to show me that He is not done with me yet.
Anyway, I know that many of my values and morals were formulated during those first 18 years on that farm. The importance of being good and honest and hardworking. To always do the right thing.
But that unfortunately lead to my need to perform, to be the best, to measure up, to be accepted. Years of self-doubt, questioning my value, worth and significance. But then finally realizing, many years later, that it only matters how God sees me. His acceptance, His approval.
As my husband says "the Christian walk is simply learning the same basic truths over and over again in different circumstances and from different perspectives". Well then, I sure have done that well!
Back to the farm. My Dad bought the farm 50 years ago, a few weeks after my brother Ron was born Oct. of 1958. Ron was the fifth of six kids. I was almost 2 at the time. The oldest was 7 1/2 years old when Ron was born. YA, I can't imagine moving 5 kids under 7 1/2! Oh, and the sixth was born 11 years later! I know!
Anyway, 20 years ago Ron bought the farm from my Dad. We are forever grateful that the farm has remained a Larson Farm. A place to come home to. To recall my roots. To reflect on God's faithfulness. To reclaim that time and space that I left behind 30 years ago.
*** Be sure to clic the farm pic to enlarge.