Tuesday, July 01, 2025

Waiting on the Lord


Randy is in his 15th year since showing signs that something was wrong. 
He was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia in 2014. 
I placed him in memory care in 2018. 
He hasn't talked since the pandemic lockdown in 2020.
Thankfully he still walks, but very slowly. 
He's becoming more unsteady lately, requiring a wheelchair at times. 
He eats real well. But needs caregivers to assist him more.
I could never have imagined he would still be with us after 15 years.
As much as I want him to be with Jesus, I panic when there's a sudden decline.
And the harsh reality... I don't know how to move forward without him. 
In my grief and sadness I can't seem to get motivated to do much.
So I wait.

Well, recently I read that "waiting" is an action word.

"Waiting in the context of scripture, particularly when referring to "Waiting on the Lord", is often described as an active and purposeful action, rather then a passive one. It involves more than just sitting idly, it's about actively trusting, seeking God's presence, and remaining engaged in faith while anticipating His will and timing."

God knows the numbers of our days. He knows when Randy's time on earth is done.
And God is definitely not done with Randy. 
There is purpose in his presence at Brookdale.
So, I will be more purposeful, more mindful... while waiting for God to take Randy home. 
Because God's not done with me either. I just need to fully trust Him as He leads me.

Gratefulness is another action word. An act of faith.
Acknowledging God's goodness amidst pain and heartache 
is bringing about a gradual shift in my perspective.
It shifts my sights from my present circumstance to His sovereignty, 
His great love for me.

Thank you God for the transforming, renewing of my mind.
Thank you for Your Word.
Thank you that ~

I am greatly blessed!
I am deeply loved!
I am highly favored by God!

Thank you that Randy still leans in for an eskimo kiss.
That's how I know he knows me... and loves me.


Monday, January 20, 2025

Mindful in 2025

Mindful in 2025. 

That's my word. Being aware. Alert. Bearing in mind. Being attentive to.

Mindful Behavior means

maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environments, through a gentle, nurturing lens. (Love that!)

Mindfulness is

 embracing God's promises. Living life fully. Being fully present. 

Mindfulness is

accepting our experiences, in each moment, as a gift from God.

Mindfulness is

responding in a calm, intensional manner ~ acknowledging my emotions, labeling them, finding compassion and moving forward.

So of course God would take me through the process.

I have been writing in preparation for my husband Randy Thompson's new website. Plus editing 84 song lyrics off his old website. I was becoming more and more frustrated because nothing is as easy as I had hoped. By the time I was drowning in a puddle of tears I could see God was showing me how to be mindful in these moments.

So I acknowledged my emotions (anger, sadness, grief) as I stomped around the house, crying out to God. Then I was able to label it as being more about missing Randy than my lack of abilities, knowing he could do what I was doing blindfolded. Ok, I'm exaggerating. But still. I am technologically challenged. Then I gave myself grace. God's grace. To show myself compassion. To let go and let God. And move forward. Which is the hardest part. I'm good at beating myself up. Being the victim. Feeling stuck. Not accepting my limitations. 

The task that pushed me over the edge?

 I discovered Randy forgot a song on the Lyrics section of his website. That meant I had to listen to the song and write out the lyrics. No big deal. But this was after having to do it for two other songs he had omitted. By this time I was done, so over the whole process. I was mad at God, at Randy, for making this edit even harder. As I cried, God reminded me of the title of the song... Trust Me. How about listening to the words as you write out the lyrics. You guys... it was never about Randy forgetting to list the song. It was about 30 years later, in prep for the new website, that Randy's song Trust me would minister to me in a profoundly personal way. Oh Lord... you continue to love me and find ways to show you care deeply for me. It might feel lonely in this process of preserving Randy's legacy. But I am never alone. You are with me, using Randy's book and song lyrics to show Yourself so real to me. I trust You.

Trust Me

And the stars shown bright
As I bowed my head that night
And I could feel His arms close tightly all around me
And His joy replaced the tears I’d shed so freely
But I didn’t say a word, and the only thing I heard
He just said Trust Me
Open up your heart and Trust Me

I’ll lift you up where no one has ever gone
I’ll give you peace like this world has never known 
I’ll bring you joy when all your joy is gone
Open up you’ll see I can set your spirit free
If you’ll just Trust Me
Open up your heart and Trust Me

And I sat so still 
The love I felt so very real 
I’d never known a feeling like this before
I wanted just to stay there forevermore 
And feel Him hold me tight
The way He did the night
I heard Him say Trust Me
Open up your heart and Trust Me

I’ll lift you up where no one has ever gone
I’ll give you peace like this world has never known 
I’ll bring you joy when all your joy is gone
Open up you’ll see I can set your spirit free
If you’ll just Trust Me
Open up your heart and Trust Me
Trust Me