Ok, so I tried finishing this post several times in the past month... just can't seem to put into words these past 4 months. So I'll try again...
I visited my husband every day the first 2 months, and now every other day. I guess you could say the honeymoon is over, and now I see things about the facility that bother me... or maybe I just expected everything to be perfect. I want him dressed nicely when I arrive, and often times he's not. He's wearing someone else clothes... that do not fit. And it makes me crazy. I can't change what's going on in his brain, but I want him to look the same. I know without a doubt the timing of my husband's placement was right, but that doesn't mean it will ever feel right. How is it ever right for someone to put their loved one in a facility? And go home and go on with life. I can't. I know I didn't bury my husband, but at times it feels like I did. The layers of loss are just overwhelming. But amidst all the pain and sadness are miracles. Unbelievable miracles of God's goodness and grace... praising Him and thanking Him in the midst unimaginable grief.
Here's what I mean ~
- dear friends Linda & Ralph from WI came to be with me during the transition
- insisted on staying three weeks after Randy's placement
- had no idea how much I needed them here
- I was able to duplicate our wedding quilt, so he'd have 2 at the facility
- the medical assessment was done by a Christian nurse from the facility
- Randy's precious 80 year old roommate raised his family in Madison, WI
This photo was taken the night before Randy was placed in memory care July, 2018.
I finished this post several months ago, and just now posting it. Randy has since been at Brookdale for 11 months. More posts to follow.