Thursday, September 21, 2006

the dentist

Went to the dentist last week... knowing they were once again going to tell me I needed three crowns over these massive fillings I had put in decades ago. You see back then they used materials that expand and loosen over the years... and then cavities form underneath and so they need to be refilled and crowned. Notice how they are called crowns now rather than caps... does sound rather noble, even less painful. So this time I said, sure, I got nothing going today. Five hours later I was on my way home. They had done the side needing two crowns. I know this sounds creepy... that's my new word... it can mean most anything... anyway, I enjoyed the whole process. I'm serious. The three shots did not even hurt... I know, creepy.
It was just... very interesting... and blog-worthy.

Mind you, I have had nothing done outside of fillings on my teeth... and growing up, having those procedures were the most terrifying experiences of my life... just ask my siblings.
Mom would take us to this creepy, old, three-story brick building (probably only two-story, but it seemed that we were climbing stairs forever)... and we'd walk down this dark, scary, creaky, echo-y hallway with 12 foot ceilings to the dentist chambers. The waiting area was a dark and dingy, medicinal-smelling holding room... you could hear every moan and groan from the other victims (I mean, patients) going on in the other room. The dentist was this heartless, evil-looking man that hated children. You think I am being funny... I'm not... he hated kids. He would get angry and holler at us if we moved in the slightest. He was like this crazy, fuzzy headed scientist and we were his tortured labratory rats. And this is no joke, the fillings we got back then were done without a single shot of novicaine! We felt everything... it was excruciatingly painful... and he seemed to take great pleasure in drilling every exposed nerve in sight. The one and only time I did get a shot, I proceeded to unknowingly suck on my lip till the novicaine wore off... leaving me with a canker sore to beat the band!

So needless to say, last week was a walk in the park... soothing music, my favorite magazines, bright lighting, pleasant scenery, friendly faces... times have truly changed.

*** edited ~ after this was posted, my older siblings confirmed my suspicions ~ the dentist actually slapped us kids if we moved or cried.

4 comments:

Amy Schubert said...

you're hilarious .. .... but, really, who likes the dentist? I haven't been in 4 years ... how many cavities do you think I have?

NanAZ said...

Times have really changed. Even though my childhood dentist wasn't quite that bad, we had no dental insurance and a family of 8, so my parents always waited till we were in so much pain that we couldn't stand it before going to the dentist. I don't EVER remember going just for a cleaning or check-up, so needless to say, my dental memories are pretty painful as well. I have several molars missing and when I go to the dentist now, they generally ask if I have trouble chewing my food since I'm missing so many teeth in the back. Of couse, we haven't been to the dentist since we moved back (can you believe it's been 2 years already?) so we need to go soon.

Nancy said...

Oh Linda, did you go to the dentist in the Rapids? This post matches the EXACT description my brothers, sisters, & I have of our childhood dentist. I used to grab the armrests of the chair and imagine someone tickling me -- it was the only way I could make it through the drilling. To this day, I have an extremely high tolerance for pain. Labor & childbirth was a breeze compared to visits to the dentist. (and I delivered an almost 12 pound baby w/o drugs)

Kari Tollefson said...

Linda you described old Doc Ivers to a T. Going there was the most dreaded experiences of my life. I was SO thankful when Dr. Strangstalien moved in and had novocane and mercy for people.