Birthdays & Frontotemporal Dementia

 

My daughter Miranda happened to snap an image of her Dad & I that stunned me. He looks just like Randy before dementia. His eyes were both looking at the camera. I couldn't believe it. And you know what? I needed it. I needed a glimpse at what he looked like. He's still in there. And I know he still knows me.

Birthdays are hard. Another year wondering how his dementia is going to progress. What is the next decline going to look like. Was this his last birthday? As much as I want him to be with Jesus, I panic with every decline. But I was so thankful he was having a good day when our daughter and her family came to celebrate his 71st birthday. He would just stare at her, his grandchildren, his son-in-law. Like he knew them. What a gift. To see him so aware, so present. God is so good to give us sweet memories to remember.

Even though I am his caregiver, his advocate, he is still my husband and the love of my life. He still makes my heart skip a beat when I see him, when he hugs me, pats my bottom, when we touch noses. 

I will leave you with a powerful truth from Randy's book A Believer's Journey.

"If I have no firm conviction, then every trial that I encounter in my life becomes a test of God's goodness, rather than what it is ~ an opportunity to live by faith in Christ. This firm conviction keeps me dependent on Him rather than myself. Otherwise I will start trying to run my own life and I do not have the ability to do that. I will quit and give up on the journey, and then I will miss the joy of having persevered and endured, and stand at the end of all things knowing I finished well and held steadfast in my faith."

Randy Thompson ~ A Believer's Journey

August 2024 recap

• celebrated our 45th Wedding Anniversary! 
• deposited $101 in rolled coins last week.
• we seriously paid for our 3 night honeymoon in CA with rolled coins.
• found the perfect baby doll for Randy @ Goodwill for $2.49.
• a friend replaced the hatch springs on my 18 year old van. bye-bye broom stick!
• I walk while I talk on the phone inside my house.
• I've been doing it since the start of the pandemic.
• sometimes I walk over 10,000 steps during phone calls in one day.
• I talk on the phone a lot.
• I'm fostering my daughter's little dog June.
• they want me to keep her.
• my 8 year old grandson Will told his parents "I worry about Mimi in that big old house all alone."
• so he thinks I need June ~ she really is the best dog.
• Randy's book ~ in its 1st full month on the market.
• trusting God to put this book in the hands of those that need it.
• another record breaking summer ~ so far 96 consecutive days of 100+ degrees.  
• paid $10 for a Shark Ultralight Stick vacuum @ Goodwill ~ retails $229 on Amazon!
• why so cheap? It was filthy dirty. Looks as good as new now!
• finally going to make my backyard livable. 
• haven't done a thing to it in 14 years, since Randy got sick. 
• one big unsightly mass of weeds. I can't wait to transform it.
• I've been going around collecting free bricks off Marketplace.
• I have plans to do some serious hardscaping myself.
• it was the 8th Annual Ride for Ronnie Tribute Ride.
• my brother died of cancer. (multiple myeloma) 
• you can read his story HERE
• 70+ cycles participated in the Tribute Ride, raising a lot of money to help families fighting cancer.
• 18 years ago this month I started my blog. You can read my first blog post HERE. So excited to be blogging again!

Our 45th Wedding Anniversary

Today was so special. I delivered a baby girl to Randy on our anniversary. 

Ok, I didn't actually deliver a baby, but I hand-delivered a baby doll for Randy to love & nurture. I found out this week that when the caregivers gave him a baby doll to hold, he spent 2 hours patting her and holding her gently. I was so surprised. But it got me to thinking... everyone needs someone or something to nurture, and Randy's instincts to nurture is so strong. He always loved babies. I remember his Mom telling me while we were dating that Randy was obsessed with babies from the time he was a little boy. 

Baby Darling even looks like our daughter Miranda. 

Oh how he loved being her Daddy!

Randy with our first born grandbaby Emolyn Kate. She's 16 now!

Oh how he loved being her Pop Pop!

He adored our three children, but especially as newborns. I remember nursing them, handing them over to him, crawling back into bed, while he would spend hours rocking them, burping them, patting them, walking them and singing to them. Often times it would be time to nurse again before he had even put them down to sleep. 

He loved the baby stage.

 

 Seeing him so tender and intuitive with Baby Darling brought me to tears. While he shows no expression, his gentle demeanor melts my heart. When I finally left, I had such a peace knowing he was caring for his baby. In his dementia world, he may even think he's caring for his daughter Miranda. Wouldn't that be the sweetest!

Randy's Book Reveal!

 A Believer's Journey was released on July 26th, 2024.

When my book arrived Saturday the 27th, I couldn't wait to show Randy the next day!

He was finally going to hold the book he finished writing over 10 years ago,

just before he was diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia in 2014. 

He no longer communicates. And he shows no expressions.

But I just know that he knew!

He stared at it so intently, as though he knew.

He listened as I read excerpts from the book, as though he remembered.

I was praising God from Whom all blessings flow!

Thank you for buying his book. I appreciate it more than you could ever know!

So blessed to hear from so many of you that have been changed 

because of Randy's words.

That can only come from the Lord! 

A Believer's Journey is available HERE

Randy Thompson ~ About The Author Bio

My husband Randy's About The Author bio on Amazon. 

A Believer's Journey is available HERE

 

Randy Thompson began playing guitar and writing songs as a young boy. He would later accept Jesus into his heart as a teenager. He was so passionate about his faith, he wore a wooden cross necklace and carried his Bible to high school every day. He soon switched to a 12 string guitar, and began to write Christian songs and sing in Christian coffee houses in the 70’s throughout Phoenix, Arizona. 

Randy recorded his first cassette of original songs in 1978 ~ Jesus Touched Me. Recently those 10 songs were uploaded to his YouTube Channel. (Randy Thompson Ministries YouTube Channel)

He married his wife Linda in 1979 and they entered into full-time ministry in 1980, the same year he graduated from Grand Canyon College with Bible & History degrees. They started a family in 1982, raising Shawn, Miranda & Tyler in Tempe, Arizona. 

Randy Thompson Ministries was formed in 1990. He started marketing his ministry and traveling around the country doing concerts in big and small churches. He was doing what God created him to do… sharing the love of Jesus in song and powerful teaching. 

Seven more cassettes and CDs would follow. God would use his songs mightily, as more and more testimonials would pour in. One particular letter stood out. A young girl was walking along the Carefree Highway after her car had broke down. (No cell phones back then) She saw a cassette on the side of the road with the tape hanging out. She wound it up with a pencil and popped it in her portable cassette player. She was so deeply moved by the songs that she spent months looking for more of Randy’s music. But because the cassette case was scuffed up, she was looking for Randy Thomas. Eventually a Christian Bookstore in Flagstaff showed her Randy’s cassettes. She had found him! She immediately bought his cassettes and eventually his CDs. She was so thrilled to have a way to contact Randy to tell her story, how God used his music to bring her back to God. 

After many years in full-time ministry, he took on the position as the pastor of his church. But in 2011 they let him go as he wasn’t himself. Something was wrong. That is when he started writing A Believer’s Journey, because he’s a prophet, an evangelist and a truth teller. He finished the book three years later, six months before he was diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia in 2014. The book was finally published in 2024. 

Randy is currently in a memory care facility. He is peaceful, calm and easy going and dearly loved by the staff and caregivers who love his music. While he is unable to do concerts, share Jesus, or write songs anymore, the lyrics in his songs and the words in his book will live on long after he sees Jesus face-to-face. 

A Believer's Journey by Randy Thompson

My husband Randy wrote a book! And today's the day it's finally available on Amazon. I am so excited, but even more excited for Randy. He wrote this book from 2011-2013, about his 30+ years in full-time ministry with Randy Thompson Ministries. He wrote about his adventures on the road. He wrote about what he shared at his concerts... his faith, his beliefs, his convictions, and his passion for sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He wrote about A Believer's Journey.

He also wrote with a sense of urgency. I remember when Randy finished the book, I was so glad it was done. Our lives had turned upside down. He wasn't working. He needed a job. Something was terribly wrong. So when he was finally diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia in 2014, a year after he finished the book, I remember thinking he couldn't have written another word when the book was done. God had given him a window in time. Randy was obedient. So he wrote. Until he couldn't. And I thank God he did!

Today I will visit Randy at his memory care facility. He will hold the book intently, as I go on and on about how God is using this book in my life... to heal me, inspire me, to equip me for the plans He has for me. Oh how I want to know the depth of Randy's relationship with the Lord. You will too when you spend time with Randy in the pages of this book. 

One day Randy will no longer be with us. But thank God he leaves behind the lyrics in his songs, and the words in this book. He always said he wanted his life to matter, to be used of God until his final breath.  

So it's only natural that Randy would close A Believer's Journey with these final words ~ 

"I will forever write songs and sing praises to the One who is like no other. I will tell of His great love and power until my last breath, and then I will see Him face to face, and worship Him. My Savior! My King! My God!" 

You can order your copy of A Believer's Journey HERE

A Believer's Journey Book Launch

 Randy's book will be available on Amazon tomorrow

Friday, July 26th!

Please join us on Youtube for a book launch video premier that my friend Linda & I recorded.

Youtube Video Launch

We will be sharing the Amazon link. 

I will also be posting the Amazon link here on my blog tomorrow.

Or you can search "A Believer's Journey" by Randy Thompson.

Thank you for following my blog over all these years! 

I am looking forward to posting more often.

A Believer's Journey ~ Coming Soon!

 

Randy's book is almost here! 

Release date coming soon!

Randy Thompson Christmas CD ~ Through Different Eyes

 

Randy's 8 CDs are now available for download and physical copy through CD Baby.

You can also order CDs by contacting me ~

lindathompson825@gmail.com

My very favorite Christmas CD ~ Through Different Eyes

You will not only want this playing throughout the Christmas season, but year-round! 

Thank you so much for supporting and promoting Randy's music. 

Means more than you will ever know.

Merry Christmas!

The Pandemic & Dementia

My Dear Randy,

I miss you so much. 

I miss our hugs, our eskimo kisses, walking the halls hand in hand and snuggling in bed. 

I am missing your best days, because today is your best day. And tomorrow you will have declined a bit more, and then that will be your best day... till the next day. 

That makes me so sad, cuz I don't want to miss a single best day. Each day holds memories I am missing. Will I ever be able to hold your face in my hands... to message your neck, back and head... to look deep into your blue eyes? 

I am thankful for our porch visits each week. We sit 6 feet across from each other. You are the only one in the facility that wears a mask the entire visit. You seem to stare deep into my soul. And I know you know me. I know you love me. 

Your Sugar

Last week I had our large tree in our front yard trimmed. I hired a reputable company... and it did not go well. The work was done poorly. And I was treated poorly. I felt so vulnerable, so unprotected, so alone. When I visited Randy two days later, I started crying the moment I saw him and cried throughout the visit. Thankfully my mask absorbed the flow of tears. You see Randy did everything for our home. We never hired out. He could do plumbing, electrical, tree trimming, landscaping, shingle our roof, paint our house, remodel, lay tile, you name it. So for me to have total strangers do what Randy always did and to have it go so wrong, was devastating. I miss my partner, my protector, my husband. Another layer of loss to grieve. 

This pandemic has been brutal for those of us with loved ones in care facilities. This can't go on indefinitely. Yes, his facility has not had one Covid case yet. I am forever grateful. But this can't be how these residents live out their last days.

dementia: what works for us

My husband was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia in 2014. But my concerns began as far back as 2010. I wrote this list a year ago, just before I placed him in a memory care facility on July 19, 2018... so that I would not forget the details of these past several years.

I keep music playing on his iPod in his bedroom.

I sing songs where he has to finish the last word from each line.

"You are my (husband), my only (husband), you make me (happy) when skies are (gray)
You'll never know (just) how much I love (you), please don't take my husband (away)"

"Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of (rye)
Four a 20 black birds baked in a (pie), etc."

I encourage him to read billboard signs as we drive to and from his adult day care.

We slow dance to worship music so I can feel him holding me close.

I remind him often that he shared the gospel at his concerts, leading many to pray and accept Jesus as their Savior. He will reply "I did that!"

Because he parrots everything I say, I will tell Him that Jesus died for our sins, and we will spend eternity with God. Invariably he will repeat over and over "Jesus died on a cross for our sins!" The Truth of God's Word is so hidden in his heart that it just spills out, even though his brain is dying.

I leave two cinnamon graham cracker squares on the counter every night, so when he gets up he's more apt to go back to his bedroom if he's had a bite to eat.

Duct tape is a lifesaver. Because our van does not have child safety locks at all, and he opens the door while I drive, I duct tape the door handle. Although he now started opening the window, so I will be duct taping that too. (especially at 100 degrees)

He went through a phase where he filled several glasses of water from the frig water dispenser every day. Even though he didn't drink them. So I covered  the entire ice & water dispenser with cardboard & duct tape. Problem solved.

I have had our friend/ locksmith here several times over the past 4 years, installing keyed locks to the laundry room, garage door, my office, my bedroom, front door and security door. I have that key clipped to me at all times because I lock and unlock those doors dozens and dozens of times every day. But Randy's safe, secure and I can sleep at night knowing he can't get out, into the food, the meds, etc.

Here's my handy-dandy retractible key ring that changed my life. I found mine in a pack of 3 at the 99 Cent store. The clip is very strong and stays clipped either to my shirt, pocket or belt loop.

Randy Thompson ~ Memory Care @ 4 months

Here I sit. Alone. Thinking... I'm not a widow, single or divorced. I am married. But my husband Randy doesn't live here anymore. He was diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia in 2014, with early-onset as far back as 2010. I placed him in a Memory Care facility 3 months ago. (July 19th, 2018) I can't even begin to put into words the overwhelming sadness. On top of the ache in my heart, I get so anxious each time I visit him... fearful of changes, a sudden decline. Will I see something that questions my decision? Are they caring for him up to my standards? So hard. Paralyzing. Can't seem to find any rhythm to my new normal. 


Ok, so I tried finishing this post several times in the past month... just can't seem to put into words these past 4 months. So I'll try again...
I visited my husband every day the first 2 months, and now every other day. I guess you could say the honeymoon is over, and now I see things about the facility that bother me... or maybe I just expected everything to be perfect. I want him dressed nicely when I arrive, and often times he's not. He's wearing someone else clothes... that do not fit. And it makes me crazy. I can't change what's going on in his brain, but I want him to look the same. I know without a doubt the timing of my husband's placement was right, but that doesn't mean it will ever feel right. How is it ever right for someone to put their loved one in a facility? And go home and go on with life. I can't. I know I didn't bury my husband, but at times it feels like I did. The layers of loss are just overwhelming. But amidst all the pain and sadness are miracles. Unbelievable miracles of God's goodness and grace... praising Him and thanking Him in the midst unimaginable grief.

Here's what I mean ~

• dear friends Linda & Ralph from WI came to be with me during the transition 
• insisted on staying three weeks after Randy's placement 
• had no idea how much I needed them here 
• I was able to duplicate our wedding quilt, so he'd have 2 at the facility 
• the medical assessment was done by a Christian nurse from the facility 
• Randy's precious 80 year old roommate raised his family in Madison, WI

the caregivers love Randy's music

I immediately fell in love with several residents

we formed a little choir of women and we walk around singing

approval for Arizona Long term care took 90 days... thank you Lord!

he has never asked to go home

he is peaceful and happy and compliant

the caregivers and staff play his music whenever they are in his room

he sits down in the dining room for his meals... a miracle.

he reads the Bible with me on my iPhone

we haven't had a conversation in over a year, but he reads with such eloquence and passion

I love the support group I attend at the facility once a month.

a Dr now comes to his facility for check ups.

Lin & I found the perfect print of Jesus at a thrift store to hang in his room

This photo was taken the night before Randy was placed in memory care July, 2018. 
I finished this post several months ago, and just now posting it. Randy has since been at Brookdale for 11 months. More posts to follow.

Randy Thompson CDs ~ CD Baby

Randy's 8 CDs are now available for download and physical copy through CD Baby.

Click HERE

You can also order CDs by contacting me ~

lindathompson825@gmail.com

My very favorite Christmas CD ~ Through Different Eyes

You will not only want this playing throughout the Christmas season, but year-round! 

Thank you so much for supporting and promoting Randy's music. 

Means more than you will ever know.

Merry Christmas!

Dementia/ Memory Care

My husband Randy will be placed in a Memory Care facility in Gilbert, AZ Thursday, July 19th. 

I could never have imagined typing those words. Even though I know it's time, I am heartbroken. And trusting God with every breath I take.

I remember reading that grieving your loved one’s initial diagnosis, their placement in a facility, and their actual death are very much the same. And they are right. 

Needless to say, Randy & I need your prayers now more than ever ~

~ that Randy would adjust to his new surroundings as best as can be expected

~ that he would feel God’s love, peace and presence

~ that he would know my overwhelming love for him

~ that he would thrive

~ that he would be their favorite

My dear friends Ralph and Linda (the other Linda Larson) arrived July 6th to be here for Randy & I as we transition. They insisted on staying a couple weeks after Randy is placed so as to be here for me. As the days and weeks draw near, I am more and more aware that was a good call and a precious gift from God.

Please pray ~

~ that I would trust the Lord, rest in the Lord and be strong and courageous

~ that He would protect me from the enemy's lies

~ for my health... as anxiety and stress have taken a toll

~ that I would savor the sweet moments, rather than fear the future

~ that I would sense God’s presence as never before

~ that ALTCS (AZ Long Term Care) would be approved in a timely manner

Thanking God ~

~ that his memory care facility is only 2 minutes from my job in Gilbert

~ that I can visit him every day after work

~ that Scott Fisher @ Foundation for Senior Living recommended this facility, not even knowing it’s proximity to my work

~ for my amazing team that has walked with me every step of the way 

~ my elder law attorney Emily Taylor and her assistant Jessica 

~ my dear friend and financial planner Joe Scheid

~ my son-in-law Aaron for his wisdom, counsel and compassion 

~ for dear friends near and far that have visited, called, text and emailed me words of encouragement, affirmation and Truth. I can’t tell you how many times fear and anxiety overwhelmed me to the core... thinking I could not do this another day… and I would get a call or text. They had no idea... but God did.

And finally, I thank God for everything. And I mean everything. I don’t understand everything, but I can truly thank Him. I am trusting God’s love for me, His character, His faithfulness, His ever present help in times of trouble. He is transforming me. He is fighting for me. He is the strength of my heart. And my portion forever. He allowed this. He is using it. He is all I need. He is enough.

And I am so thankful God continues to use Randy’s music and lyrics. I get monthly emails, CD orders and testimonials from people all around the country. And most of them had no idea about Randy's diagnosis until I linked them to his story on my blog. Their heartfelt stories are a powerful testament of Christ in Randy, his calling, faithfulness and humble service in sharing the death, resurrection and love of Jesus.

Randy always said at every concert ~ 

“We are aliens and strangers. This is not our home. I long for the day when I can stand before Jesus and hear Him say “Well done good and faithful servant”.” 

I long for that day too. 

Oh how I miss my husband. My friend. My helpmate. My truth teller. The love of my life. 

However will I do this life without him by my side?

You can read his Frontotemporal dementia story HERE.

flowers from my husband

Invariably the weight of caring for a loved one with dementia takes its toll and we hit rock bottom. Recently I had one of those days. I woke up with a dark cloud over my head. Fear of the unknown, the future, overwhelmed me. I didn't know how I could do another day. I missed my husband so much that dying of a broken heart seemed quite possible. I missed his hugs, his comforting words, his calming spirit. I missed doing life with my best friend. So I prayed and cried out to God for His strength, peace and joy.

As I made my way home from work that day, with tears pouring down my face, I once again surrendered my hurting heart to Jesus. With what little faith I had, I thanked Him for His faithfulness, His provision, His love. I knew I was not alone. He was with me. I may feel lonely, but I am never alone.

Shortly after I arrived home, someone I had recently met in the healthcare business, came to my door with a huge bouquet of flowers. I was stunned. No way. You see, to me, these gorgeous flowers were without a doubt, a gift from God. To me. From my husband. I was undone. I hugged and thanked her, and when she left I collapsed on the couch and had a good cry. Once again "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, and set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. Psalm 40:2 Thank you Jesus!

Then Randy arrived home. When he walked in the door and saw the flowers, I hugged him so tightly and thanked him over and over for sending me flowers. You guys, the look on his face was priceless. He was beaming and repeated over and over "I sent you flowers!". Every day till the flowers were withered and gone, I thanked him over and over for sending me flowers, for loving me so well, for being my husband. And every day, he would say over and over "I know! I sent you flowers!". And my love for him grew sweeter than ever.

Randy rarely ventures outside, 

but when he does he loves the solar water fountain in our birdbath.

My grandson loves it too. And so do the hummingbirds.

Check it out HERE

Frontotemporal dementia update

My husband Randy Thompson has
behavioral variant frontotemporal dementia
If you are new to my blog, you can read his story HERE.

• I love seeing him sitting out on our patio. And yes, these days are numbered as the temps are rising here in Phoenix
• he's always saying "I think you're going to make me chicken with tomato sauce"
• I have never made such a dish 😊
• he recently lost the 20# he gained 4 years ago after his FTD diagnose
• hard to believe it was 4 years ago this month
• but the symptoms go back to 2011
• love the art pieces he brings home from his adult day care
• started touring memory care facilities. So hard to imagine that one day...
• he whispered "I love you" the other day. Out of the blue
• he's unable to carry on a conversation, instead repeats everything I say
• so as you can imagine, it was a big deal
• he is totally oblivious to the guys that are remodeling our master bathroom

• he loves taking our dog Koda for walks
• he repeats over & over "That's Koda!" the entire time we're walking
• Randy recently ate an entire bag of organic dog treats overnight, that I had emptied in a jar on the counter
• they were not the usual 99 Cent store hard biscuit dog treats
• so he thought they were people treats
• I was pretty freaked out... but able to laugh about it now

• such an unexpected, heartfelt reaction to meeting his new granddaughter Cora Jane
• literally took my breath away as I captured the sacred moment 
• my beautiful Cora Jane. Our 6th grandchild. Mimi & Pop Pop are so blessed.

• love my letter board that I now call my memory board
• scripture verses on the board that Randy loves reading every day
• my latest memory verse ~ Romans 12:12

• Randy just shaved his beard. Himself! (with my prompting) A miracle! Usually the neighbor has to hold his arms while I do it.
• ok, it ain't pretty, but hey, I'll take it! 
• attended my first dementia workshop this month. So helpful, informative... and emotional
• Randy is still so sweet... never angry, sad, depressed or argumentative 
• I think it's because our life is very quiet, routine and predictable. 
• which makes him feel safe, secure and happy
• my dear friend Alice captured this rare moment while visiting from PA
• Love my husband so much... yet miss him terribly.

Frontotemporal Dementia and Eskimo Kisses

My best friend and childhood friend, that I've known since we both attended a one-room school in Wisconsin wrote this beautiful post. Thank you so much Lin! Btw, we shared the same first and last name till we married our spouses. You can read our story HERE.

I’ve been In Tempe Arizona for almost a week now helping my friend Linda recuperate from her surgery and assisting with her husband Randy who was diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia several years ago.  Watching Linda relate to Randy is such a joy as she has found an entertaining childlike way of refocusing his obsessive behaviors with special names they call each other, goofy sayings they have come up with and the infamous nose to nose Eskimo kisses to show their love and appreciation for each other.

Though Randy’s “memory” of things like music and people from his past is still largely in tact, he is now losing control of his bodily functions, his social skills and his ability to empathize or consider others. These things are fading into a thing of the past. When Linda was in the hospital we anticipated that he would be anxious about where she was but he didn’t even seem to realize she wasn’t there. Perhaps it was just God’s way of helping Linda be more at ease that Randy will do OK without her whether it is with us or eventually in the inevitable home he will reside for the end of his days

Randy spends much of his day walking back and forth from his room to the kitchen and to the living room where he finds the remote and flips aimlessly from channel to channel.  Linda let us know that he had no attention span and that at his daycare they were hoping to get him to focus for at least ten minutes but so far it is to no avail.

Each new day I am here I am more amazed at the many things that are happening that we thought were gone forever.  First it was Randy picking up the guitar, (something he had not done in years) and playing for nearly 45 minutes. Now he does it every day, without provocation, even when no one is in the room. It may only be a for a minute but he is playing, writing and enjoying it.

This morning he walked up to me and got right in my face and said “It’s good to see you!” I smiled and gave him a hug and returned the sentiment and then he moved closer to give me an Eskimo kiss. I laughed and then he just leaned his forehead on to mine and just stood there for a long time smiling and looking at me.  A while later he did it all again!

Tonight as my husband Ralph and later Linda had retired to bed, I made Randy and I some nachos before getting him ready for bed. I went to his room and set up the music that he listens to which of course is his own CD’s. He draws my attention to how he rolls his blanket and then pulls it up over his legs and then proudly demonstrates how his feet move under the blanket as though it is a miracle event.

I sang along with of his song, the 23rd psalm from his album “Thirsty” as he drifted off to sleep and then I left quietly in tears as I remembered this man that once ministered to thousands of people, pastored a church, parented his children and led my husband to Christ ensuring that he was clear on what it takes to make a marriage work and why following Christ in the waters of baptism was the right thing to do to be a witness for Christ.

He was the kind of man who would surely have been the one at the hospital with his wife when she had her surgery this week and he would have been the one sitting on her bed as she cries in pain wondering when the medication will give her some relief. Unfortunately,  he can’t do that any more. Not because he doesn’t want to, or wont, but it just does not occur to him. He is literally losing his mind.

We all grieve the loss of who he was but the essence of Randy still exists. He still has moments of tenderness, and memories of those of us who have known and loved him. He is ALWAYS grateful for anything and everything you do for him and he still laughs at Linda’s jokes and gives her hugs and Eskimo kisses whenever she asks.

Tonight Randy sat with me for over a half hour and watched television. He didn’t get up and walk around. He didn’t ask for the remote. He just sat here and it was magical. It was, I fear, one of the last times I will ever have the chance to just be with him like this, but it has given me what I needed today….a glimpse of the man I met 40 years ago and have been blessed by from the first day I met him until today.

Randy is still what I consider to be an anointed; a term used to refer to the power of God at work to change lives and bring men closer to God by his miracles.  He is still being a “Faucet of HOPE” to the world…a Clay Vessel as his song says and he is doing exactly what God asks of all of us….to be the best we can be in spite of our circumstances and to love others with all we have…no matter how feeble it may seem.

THANK YOU RANDY FOR BEING MY FAUCET OF HOPE TODAY! 

Randy's CDs HERE

my friend & mother-in-law

My precious mother-in-law Emolyn Wynworth Thompson passed away at the age of 93 on September 3rd. She is now with Jesus and reunited with her husband, her daughter Patty and son Barry.

I fell in love with my future mother-in-law even before I knew Randy was the one.

I had met Randy at a concert ministry March of 1978. My friend Linda & I sang the first set and he sang the 2nd. His music, his songs, his lyrics touched my heart unlike any Christian artist before. For the next two months we hung out, I went to his church softball games... and then to dinner at his home on Mother's Day just before I went back to Wisconsin. Little did I know how significant that event would be. I was so drawn to Randy's Mom... so warm and welcoming. Randy's Mamaw Bean (his Dad's Mom) was also there. She would pass away that summer. I would buy her '62 Chevy sight unseen while in WI that summer... and I would receive her Pyrex 4 bowl nesting set just before we married... which would be the start of my Pyrex collection.

When I returned to Phoenix Aug, 1978, Randy & I started dating. We would have dinner at his parents home pretty much every Sunday. While Randy & his Dad were watching sports on TV, his Mom & I would go to either TG&Y or Yellow Front to look at fabric. And we would spend hours talking about her life as an Air Force wife for 27 years, a Mom to 4 sons... and her daughter Patty. Patty had only been gone for 3 years when we met. She was killed by a 16 year old drunk driver a mile from their home. She had graduated from high school, turned 18 and received her driver's license the week before she went away. You see, my Mother-in-law never said the words died or killed or passed away. She always referred to someone's passing as "they went away". I love that so much.

I was blessed to get to know Patty through her Mom... and the depth of a mama's grieving heart.
What a sacred, beautiful time of remembering, weeping together and healing her aching heart.

Randy's Mom was a Godly woman of faith. She never questioned God. She trusted Jesus. No matter what. 

She read her Bible every day... because she saw her Mama read her Bible every day.

And because of his Mom, my husband read his Bible every day. And she has faithfully prayed for Randy & I every single day of our marriage. 

When Randy & I married she asked if I would like to call her Mom.

So I did... for 38 years.

But she was more than a mom to me, she was my dearest friend.

I met my mother-in-law on Mother's Day 1978 ~

and I said good-bye to her on Mother's Day 2017.

My husband Randy was unable to understand the news about his Mom's passing because of his Frontotemporal dementia. He has no empathy. He just smiled and walked away. One day they will be reunited in eternity with Jesus. Oh what a day that will be.

You can read about his last visit with his Mom HERE.

my husband's Frontotemporal dementia

• he now stands up while eating at the kitchen island.
• he turns every light, lamp and ceiling fan on day and night
• he loves wearing the Dillard's shirts I buy for him
• his short-term memory is gone
• he still remembers everyone by name that comes over
• he can still identify all 18 model airplanes (fighter jets) hanging in his bedroom
• I have his 8 CDs playing on his iPod day and night 
• along with Garrison Keillor, Tim Keller and the Bible. 
• he loves taking showers 
• when I told him it was our 38th anniversary, he replied 'Really?!' and walked away
• his transportation to & from his adult daycare is going much better
• he gets so tickled by all my silly jingles and rhymes that I make up daily
• and that makes me so happy
• he will love sitting out back again when the temps finally drop (109 yesterday)
• his Mom turned 93 last week. Wish I could have taken him to see her.
• but he gets anxious on long drives, unbuckles his seat belt and opens the door 
• shopped at Costco for the first time since Randy's diagnoses 3 1/2 years ago 
• overcome with emotions and tears... we always went together
• continually surprised by new levels of loss lurking around every corner
• went on a 12 hour day trip with friends to Flagstaff
• several dear friends took 3 hr shifts in caring for Randy
• hadn't gotten out of the city in 7 months... I returned renewed and refreshed
• hoping to do that four times a year

Every time I peek into Randy's bedroom, he is laying in bed with his arms & hands lifted upward at the elbows, with his eyes closed. His face is radiant... so peaceful. Seriously takes my breath away. I just know he is worshipping the Lord with his whole heart... even though his brain is no longer whole. Such a sacred sight to witness.
Oh how I love my husband's pure, unadulterated love & devotion to God. 

So blessed. So thankful.

Randy ~ his Mom ~ his brother Don ~ his sister Patty pictured in the frame

I took Randy to see his Mom on Mother's Day. Most likely the last time he will see her this side of heaven. She is nearing the end of her life. So thankful to have had that time with her... to pray together, cry together, to tell her how much I love her, that her love, acceptance, friendship and prayers have meant the world to me these past 38 years. 

Randy would only come in the room for brief moments, to wave at her, to say 'Hi Mom!' and then ask to go home. It made him so anxious seeing her in bed like that. Broke my heart.
Thankfully his brother Don arrived just as we were leaving. Randy was thrilled! He adores his big brother and seeing his excitement made me so happy. 

Oh how his Mom loved seeing her 'big 'ole boys' together. (they are both over 6'2)

I want to thank you for praying for Randy & I. Means more than you will ever know.