Friday, September 01, 2017

my husband's Frontotemporal dementia

  • he now stands up while eating at the kitchen island.
  • he turns every light, lamp and ceiling fan on day and night
  • he loves wearing the Dillard's shirts I buy for him
  • his short-term memory is gone
  • he still remembers everyone by name that comes over
  • he can still identify all 18 model airplanes (fighter jets) hanging in his bedroom
  • I have his 8 CDs playing on his iPod day and night 
  • along with Garrison Keillor, Tim Keller and the Bible. 
  • he loves taking showers 
  • when I told him it was our 38th anniversary, he replied 'Really?!' and walked away
  • his transportation to & from his adult daycare is going much better
  • he gets so tickled by all my silly jingles and rhymes that I make up daily
  • and that makes me so happy
  • he will love sitting out back again when the temps finally drop (109 yesterday)
  • his Mom turned 93 last week. Wish I could have taken him to see her.
  • but he gets anxious on long drives, unbuckles his seat belt and opens the door 
  • shopped at Costco for the first time since Randy's diagnoses 3 1/2 years ago 
  • overcome with emotions and tears... we always went together
  • continually surprised by new levels of loss lurking around every corner
  • went on a 12 hour day trip with friends to Flagstaff
  • several dear friends took 3 hr shifts in caring for Randy
  • hadn't gotten out of the city in 7 months... I returned renewed and refreshed
  • hoping to do that four times a year

Every time I peek into Randy's bedroom, he is laying in bed with his arms & hands lifted upward at the elbows, with his eyes closed. His face is radiant... so peaceful. Seriously takes my breath away. I just know he is worshipping the Lord with his whole heart... even though his brain is no longer whole. Such a sacred sight to witness.
Oh how I love my husband's pure, unadulterated love & devotion to God. 
So blessed. So thankful.

Randy ~ his Mom ~ his brother Don ~ his sister Patty pictured in the frame

I took Randy to see his Mom on Mother's Day. Most likely the last time he will see her this side of heaven. She is nearing the end of her life. So thankful to have had that time with her... to pray together, cry together, to tell her how much I love her, that her love, acceptance, friendship and prayers have meant the world to me these past 38 years. 

Randy would only come in the room for brief moments, to wave at her, to say 'Hi Mom!' and then ask to go home. It made him so anxious seeing her in bed like that. Broke my heart.
Thankfully his brother Don arrived just as we were leaving. Randy was thrilled! He adores his big brother and seeing his excitement made me so happy. 
Oh how his Mom loved seeing her 'big 'ole boys' together. (they are both over 6'2)

I want to thank you for praying for Randy & I. Means more than you will ever know.


Diane said...

I know these entries are likely for you and your family to chronicle you love and life with Randy so thank you for allowing us a little peak into your love from time to time. You are an inspiration to many! Todd and she naive you both! It is our honor to continue to pray for your family!

Jenny said...

My dear sister - thank you for posting the bittersweet. So grateful for the beauty amidst intense loss.

Dan Newell said...

Hi Linda,

I'm not sure if you remember me or not but my name is Daniel Newell (one of Reed and Barb's kids from Open Door back in the day!). I found your blog not too long ago and I just wanted to say that I still listen to so many of Randy's songs and absolutely love them to this day...such an inspiration, and they've had a great impact on me over the years.

I miss you both and just wanted you to know the impact that you and Randy have had on me and so many countless others over the years. THANK YOU! I will continue to pray for you both,

Unknown said...

Thank you for sharing. How wonderful to see the working of the Holy Spirit in Randy. Your music together so ministers to us and I continue to pray for both of you every time I listen. The thirst Randy wrote and sung about is certainly evident and how amazing the testimoney. The spoken word is timeless. Blessings .