Ok, so I tried finishing this post several times in the past month... just can't seem to put into words these past 4 months. So I'll try again...
I visited my husband every day the first 2 months, and now every other day. I guess you could say the honeymoon is over, and now I see things about the facility that bother me... or maybe I just expected everything to be perfect. I want him dressed nicely when I arrive, and often times he's not. He's wearing someone else clothes... that do not fit. And it makes me crazy. I can't change what's going on in his brain, but I want him to look the same. I know without a doubt the timing of my husband's placement was right, but that doesn't mean it will ever feel right. How is it ever right for someone to put their loved one in a facility? And go home and go on with life. I can't. I know I didn't bury my husband, but at times it feels like I did. The layers of loss are just overwhelming. But amidst all the pain and sadness are miracles. Unbelievable miracles of God's goodness and grace... praising Him and thanking Him in the midst unimaginable grief.
Here's what I mean ~
- dear friends Linda & Ralph from WI came to be with me during the transition
- insisted on staying three weeks after Randy's placement
- had no idea how much I needed them here
- I was able to duplicate our wedding quilt, so he'd have 2 at the facility
- the medical assessment was done by a Christian nurse from the facility
- Randy's precious 80 year old roommate raised his family in Madison, WI
This photo was taken the night before Randy was placed in memory care July, 2018.
I finished this post several months ago, and just now posting it. Randy has since been at Brookdale for 11 months. More posts to follow.
8 comments:
Dear Linda,
God had laid on our heart this last year to pray for you and what you might be experiencing. The word "limbo" just kept coming into our thoughts. You captured and expressed so well the state you find yourself in; one that very few of us can understand. Many things make us ask, "Lord when? When will you wrap up this Age and end the hurt, and the questions, and the suffering?" And His answer, "I waited for you. I am waiting for others." And that reminds me that what awaits will make this time seem like nothing. But it seems so overwhelming sometimes. We have little we can do but pray for you; but that is the first and last thing we should be doing for you.
If there is anything else we can do to help, to honor Randy, and you, and your ministry and marriage, don't hesitate to reach out. Thank you for your posts. Thank you for sharing your lives.
God bless and keep you feeling close to Himself,
Dexter & Ginger
Dear Linda I started reading your blog many years ago. I got so may decorating ideas from you throughout the years. I am so sorry for the hard emotional heart wrenching times you are going through. You and Randy are continually in my prayers. Take care and God bless you. Cheryl
I too have been following your blog for many years, and you have been in my thoughts and prayers many times in these recent years. May God continue to be your comfort and your strength...one day at a time!
Hello, Mrs. Thompson.
I'm so saddened to read of Randy's tragic condition the difficulties you and your family have experienced. Even before I became a Christian in 1989 i was positively influenced by Randy and his music through the outreach at Open Door fellowship. After becoming a Christian Randy was a great encouragement to me through his music as I went off to the mission field. With Christmas approaching i did an internet search to see if I could find some Christmas music by him...that's how I can across this blog site and sad/inspiring story. May God grant you continued strength and mercy. I am praying for you all from Germany. Peace in Messiah, Bill
Dear Linda,
I met you and Randy (and kids) at Horn Creek Ranch camp in Colorado when I was 14 in 1982. I have never forgotten you all and have thought about Randy and his music so much over the years. I even emailed with Randy in the late 90’s. i have every word of the “It’s By Grace” album memorised to this day. In fact, singing “My House” as I was TRYING to fall asleep at 2:00am today caused me to search the album on iTunes then to seek Randy out again. I could not sleep until I “found” him again. I had hoped to reach out to him again so I reach out to you. My heart breaks with yours and I spent the wee hours this morning praying for you and Randy and family. I have a photo of your beautiful family I will send you if you’d like. I would love to give you all a huge hug. It’s been two years since you wrote this post and my prayer is that “all is well” as it can be considering the circumstances. Much love and God bless you all.
Jill Joe
Las Vegas,Nv
It's evident that you're not only documenting but also celebrating the precious moments and challenges that come with caring for your loved one!
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